You Influence Or You Are Influenced


What do dogs want? Two things: thumbs and pockets. If they had thumbs, they wouldn't have to wait for you. They could go to the cupboard and tear open the package of treats, and if they had pockets, they could take the treats with them. Yes, every dog wants thumbs and pockets. They look at you with those doggy eyes, and you think they are admiring you. Trust me, they are not. They are wondering how an idiot like you got thumbs and pockets and they didn't. The robes of Jesus were woven from a single thread and had no pockets. He didn't have a bank account. Everything that came to him came to him in the moment. He trusted that since God had sent him here, God would pick up the tab. You are concerned or you know someone who is; either he influences you or you influence him. That's the cosmic law. Every relationship is a relationship in influence. That is why there is some very advanced consciousness in this world and some very not-so-advanced consciousness.

So why are some souls so advanced and conscious and conscientious and compassionate, while others just make you shake your head? It's all about influence, either you influence or you're influenced. When you feel sad, when you get hurt, when you’re disappointed, you just got influenced. Sometimes you use that sadness, that disappointment, in order to prove something to someone. You flaunt your hurt until you’re sure that that person sees your pain and accepts the fact that they are responsible for it. People live their lives on that fuel, and the frequency of any life so lived spirals down quickly. People get hurt willingly, just for the satisfaction of proving you hurt them, and you shouldn't do it again. And if you won't do it again, they will go look for someone who will, so they can have that sensation again. That happens all the time. And until you stop it consciously, it will continue.

Do you want to know what got me out of that trap? Early on, Yogi Bhajan was doing numerology and giving us our spiritual names. My name is based upon the numerology of my birthday, 3-16-1945; Yogi Bhajan looked at the paper and said, “Oh, Pisces! Pisces would walk a mile to get their feelings hurt.”

I came here for a spiritual name, sir.” I replied. I was devastated. My feelings were hurt. And Yogi Bhajan said, “See? What did I tell you? And you didn't even have to walk an inch.” I was so confused. I was twenty-three and you get confused at that age. I said, “Yeah, because you and my friends are all standing around and I feel like an idiot.” And he said, “You are.” Now I was doubly hurt, and he simply looked at me and said, “When is this going to end?” I was startled. “Is it up to me?” I asked. His answer was definitive. “It's up to you.” And I said, “It's going to end now.” He said, “Well, that's a good beginning, but it's just the beginning.”

It took me years, but you know what provided a good outlet? After you give up having your feelings hurt, you get to blame everyone else, and that is even more fun. Getting your feelings hurt is fun, but not nearly as much fun as blaming. After a while, though, blaming doesn't work anymore, because it's really hard on relationships. But after you stop that, you can take solace in bitterness: I won’t blame you; I'll just suffer. No doubt you’re saying to yourself, “Oh, I don't do that.” But I am telling you, yes, you do. You just mask it.

All of these things are steps toward destiny. The last thing you should do if you’re going through this process is feel guilty. Just go through it. Release yourself into it. Commit to it. Commit to getting your feelings hurt, and when you’re fully filled, you're done. Don't do just a little bit each day and then when you're ninety go, “Oh, I was so good about not getting my feelings hurt.” Nonsense. You’ve still got ten years of hurt feelings left, and I hope you don't die: you don’t want to come back just for that. Can you imagine where you might get born? The place where you can get your feelings hurt the most. You come back to the place where the greatest injustice is.

Experience the gratitude of being you. Praise the ancestors that brought you to you. Praise them; they're here, waiting for you to fulfill your destiny so they can be liberated too. Seven generations are liberated by your liberation. The equation of existence is profoundly graceful, exquisitely elegant. The way you experience the elegance and the grace is through your commitment. I don't know where I am going, or what I am doing. I am so confused, but I feel push back. If you're not experiencing push back, you're not moving forward. If you are experiencing push back, thank God.