What's the Point? A Personal Story


When you feel sad, when you get hurt, when you’re disappointed, you just got influenced. Sometimes you use that sadness and that disappointment in order to prove something to someone. You flaunt your hurt until you’re sure that that person sees your pain and accepts the fact that they are responsible for it. People live their lives on that fuel, and the frequency of any life so lived spirals down quickly. People get hurt willingly, just for the satisfaction of proving you hurt them, and that you shouldn't do it again. And if you won't do it again, they will go look for someone who will, so they can have that sensation again. That happens all the time. And until you stop it consciously, it will continue.

Do you want to know what got me out of that trap? Early on, Yogi Bhajan was doing numerology and giving us our spiritual names. My name is based upon the numerology of my birthday, 3-16-1945. Yogi Bhajan looked at the paper and said,  “Oh, Pisces! Pisces would walk a mile to get their feelings hurt.”

“I came here for a spiritual name, sir.” I replied. I was devastated. My feelings were hurt. And Yogi Bhajan said, “See? What did I tell you? And you didn't even have to walk an inch.” I was so confused. I was twenty-three and you get confused at that age.

I said, “You and my friends are all standing around and I feel like an idiot.” And he said, “You are.” Now I was doubly hurt, and he simply looked at me and said, “When is this going to end?” I was startled. “Is it up to me?” I asked. His answer was definitive. “It's up to you.” And I said, “It's going to end now.” He said, “Well, that's a good beginning, but it's just the beginning.”

It took me years, but you know what provided a good outlet? After you give up having your feelings hurt, you get to blame everyone else and that is even more fun. Getting your feelings hurt is fun, but not nearly as much fun as blaming. After a while, though, blaming doesn't work anymore, because it's really hard on relationships. But after you stop that, you can take solace in bitterness: I won’t blame you; I'll just suffer.  No doubt you’re saying to yourself, “Oh, I don't do that.” But I am telling you, yes, you do. You just mask it.