Silent and still

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What are we going to move towards, joy or pain? What are we going to move away from, joy or pain? Oftentimes the reason why we keep having pain in our life is because we have come to rely on it as a stimulant. Pain should be a stimulant to keep us safe, but it should not become an addiction. What happens when we habitually seek out pain? We begin to mask the pain in a variety of ways to remove ourselves personal responsibility. One example is disassociating and externalizing it; we pass it on to someone else. We say, I wouldn't be feeling this pain if it wasn't for a particular person or circumstance. Removing responsibility is satisfying because it supports our position of pain. How do we evolve beyond this behavior?