It is very difficult to relate to someone you are closely related to and not want them to be different. There's something about DNA that causes us to desire its perfection. We all have an image of what we believe this perfection is. This is not an intellectual image, this is a genetic image that we cannot access using thought. This image is a built-in; it's hardwired into the evolutionary sequence of our DNA and it's telling us what our next steps are to be. Yet, to be able to look at someone, to experience them without wanting them to be different, allows for the first time ever, the experience of experiencing them as they actually are.
This will appear as a completely different sensation than you have ever experienced in relating to them. They may not even faintly resemble your previous memory. The effects of experiencing someone as they really are can be overwhelming to the heart . . . you cannot imagine or explain the sensation unless you're actually having it . . . the joy of that moment is beyond the beyond.
This is one of the goals of our lives. This is experiencing life as it actually is, rather than as we believe it should be. It is important to practice this skill-set on a daily basis; to develop it into becoming our most natural response. It is by using this skill-set as our most natural response that we are able to live our lives in a connected and centered way.
There is also a side blessing within this skill; people, including our closest relatives, become extremely attractive to us and are attracted to us. This produces the sensations and feelings we long for. This is a true connection. In this sensation we feel like we are home wherever we are; we feel a self-recognition, a self-realization, a reconnection to who we actually are.
These sensations give meaning to that ancient phrase . . . “A life worth living . . .”