On Marriage


Marriage is a process in which two people loose their individual identity and become a united identity, one soul in two bodies. A true marriage will be very challenging, but the essence of commitment is that you have nailed the doors and windows shut and there is no escape. Marriage is a reality in which you are not able to run away and hide.  This is expressed in the English marriage vows with the phrase: “for better or worse" but our  society seems to have reworded it to: "for better or else."

Yogi Bhajan said that marriage is walking around with a mirror glued to your nose reflecting you in every moment. This is why it is often considered to be the highest yoga. Marriage is an exercise you cannot get out of and that is why it can take you where nothing else can take you.

My wife and I had periods of our marriage which, without total commitment, would have been deal breakers. The quality you see in us now is because of having gone through those periods. It creates that richness in a marriage.

There is no such thing as the right person. You could be married to a post stuck in the earth, it wouldn’t matter. Both parties need to be committed to living in their highest consciousness. In order to walk, you need to pass through crawling. Essential components take place during that phase. It is the same with relationships, there is a commitment and an understanding that no matter what happens, each person will come through.

Yogi Bhajan addressed the topic of marriage as follows:

“The question arises: What is an ideal marriage? Ideal marriage is a way of life in which a husband and wife compromise to face the time and space together for the security of their own life and their children’s. These days many marriages are dissolved between the ages of 36 and 45. This is a time period when marriage can become a boredom, and everybody wants to look to new values.

You must be aware that nobody looks to new values and there is no such thing as boredom. Marriage is the institution which cannot get boring because it is a continuous hassle against time and space. How can a thing become boring when you have to exert every minute of your life to keep it going? ??The life cycle runs by 18 years, the mental cycle by 7 years, and the conscience cycle by 11 years. So between the ages of 36 and 45 the development of two individuals needs more sacrifice, more cohesiveness and more understanding.

This period of life is known as the renewal of values. And, if in renewing values we re-establish different values but do not discard our basic object – that we are married to keep things going – then divorce will hardly be possible.?? Marriage is an institution which depends upon honoring the Word. There is nothing more precious than one’s word. In the beginning there was the Word, the Word was with God and the Word is God.”