"No" Is a Starting Point
Life comes down to relationships. In your primary relationships, the ones by the epicenter of your activity, it isn’t productive to wait for relating to happen. Each moment must be created for momentum to take place. If there seems to be no outcome, remember that all blockages present a perfect opportunity to begin. “No” is a starting point. Every blockage can be used as a gym. The heavier the relational weight, the greater the relational possibility.
Relationships that are extremely enjoyable but lack sparkling chemistry are gifts. The sparkle is just an illusion -- one that can be built and then enjoyed if you learn to do the work. If the chemistry is the driving force in a relationship, it may be stimulating but it is very shallow. Judging by modern court records, it is also temporary as divorce rates are very high.
This is why arranged marriages are something traditional cultures relied upon. They were based upon a compatibility of core-consciousness, a more permanent event.
Relationships take work, they require assembly after opening the box. This can take many years to accomplish. Be determined to be in a relation-ship, not a relation-canoe, where nobody can stand up.
They teach us that life isn’t about changing or controlling the outside world, but rather about molding and mastering the perceptions from the inside. Remember that you are the one who thinks and feels your thoughts and feelings.
Relational success is never found with competition or comparison. Be compassionate and compatible, and remember that every event in life, even being by yourself, is a relationship. Strive to be the best participant possible.